I’d like to say I’m sorry…

Dear Professors,

I’m sorry for not trying as hard as I should have.  I genuinely enjoy each and every one of your classes and would have loved to give them my all this semester (yes, I actually like school), but alas, pledging had other ideas.  I know it’s not an excuse because other people have serious time commitments and still find time to give their academics 100%, but I was simply not prepared for the physical and mental exhaustion that would come from just having one more activity on my plate.  I promise I will try my best to end this semester on a high note, but thank you for working with me.  Most importantly, thank you for buying my bullshit and giving me extra points when I did not really deserve them.

Dear My Boys (who live with),

I’m sorry for looking like shit all the time.  I haven’t been doing my hair or wearing make up all semester and while you have not failed to hit on me when drunk, I could have been putting a better face on, literally.  Also, I’m sorry for not making you food or back massages as much as I want to.  I love taking care of you all as if you were my children and I promise with my newly found free time I will make more breakfast and  baked goods, and I will find more time to give you back massages after your workouts.  Most importantly, thank you for letting me just chill in your rooms too much and talk about school, sports, life, music, whatever we wanted.  You helped me stay sane and to stop and smell the roses every now and again.

Dear Roommate/ Hoe 4,

I’m sorry for leaving my side of the futon looking like a mountain of clothes instead of just putting my wash away.  I am also sorry for forcing you to sleep on the couch because I forget to tell you when you can come back in the room after being sexilied (even though we usually only make out, oops), and for forcing you to help me entertain my sleepover guests in the morning.  I’m sorry for being distant when I need time alone or not inviting you to everything because I want my own experience in addition to all the memories we share. I’m sorry for eating your peanut butter.  Most importantly, thank you for making an effort to fill the Brita and always, ALWAYS, drinking wine with me.

Dear Boy who was my first love (no one repeat that, ever),

I’m sorry for ending the way we did.  I’m sorry for ignoring your feelings multiple times.  I’m sorry for always being at your fraternity with other guys (just talking to them though).  I’m sorry for meeting your family and getting you attached to mine.  I will always ask you how yours is doing and I will always tell you first if there’s a new cutest picture of my dogs.  I’m sorry for sending you funny animal videos on Facebook even when you hate me (it’s the only way I know you’ll get over it).  I’m sorry for not showing you how much I appreciated you and the time we spent together.  I’m sorry that we will never again have mind blowing sex.  I’m sorry that we won’t live out all our plans for us.  Most importantly, thank you for showing me what kind of person I can, and want to be.  Thank you for thinking the world of me and helping me do the same.  Thank you for appreciating my time and sharing yours with me.  Thank you for teaching me sometimes naps are just what I need when I’m over-stressing myself out for a test.  Thank you for showing me your world and letting me fall in love with it and you without having to commit.  Thank you for showing me that you don’t have to flaunt a relationship or call it a relationship for it to be real.  Thank you for showing me what loyalty is, and isn’t.  And finally, thank you for showing me that great things must come to and end too, even if neither of us want them to.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m sorry for being needy this semester.  With money, advice, rides home, and anything else I have been asking much more of you than I ever have before.  I had one of the most life changing semesters of my life so far and it’s only half way over.  I’m sorry that when I come home I am not very helpful and just sit on the couch.  I’m sorry that when I say I’ll check in Sunday morning it turns into Tuesday afternoon.  I’m sorry that when you call me I can talk because I lose my voice every weekend.  I’m sorry that I keep telling you I’m studying abroad in a different place, or that I’m going twice; I am going to Spain I swear.  I’m sorry for giving you fomo because your college experiences were nothing like mine.  Most importantly, thank you for loving and supporting the shit out of me and being my best friends while challenging me to be the best student, daughter, friend, sister, and person I could possibly be.  Thank you for raising my siblings and giving me two people to grow and be myself with always.  Thank you for never denying that I am the favorite child.  Thank you for making my favorite meals and for always taking me to the club on the first night home for dinner.  And finally, thank you for reminding me every single day that you think I am the very best.

Dear my love, Hoe 1,

I’m sorry for the way things worked out this semester with rush.  I’m sorry for not being able to spend time with you because of pledging and classes.  I’m sorry for choosing not to spend time with you because of new friends or avoiding old ones.  I’m sorry for telling you my stories and problems before listening to yours.  I’m sorry for being an attention whore.  I’m sorry for flaunting my many suitors in front of you (even if only one or two are actual options).  I’m sorry for encouraging you to eat unhealthy when you’re being good.  I’m sorry for always encouraging one more drink.  I’m sorry for running away at frats (unintentionally).  I’m sorry for being a badass bitch that you have to compete with.  I’m sorry for being so humble (lol).  I’m sorry for complaining about the same things to you over and over again hoping for different answers when you tell me the truth.  I’m sorry for not being able to support you and for always having to say I told you so.  I’m sorry for making fun of your music or TV or youtube shows.  I’m sorry for mooching off your friends at home because I didn’t peak as hard in high school.  I’m sorry for always saying you peaked in high school.  Most importantly, dearest Hoe 1, the hoe-iest of all my hoes, thank you.  Thank you for listening to my shit, for standing by me when you didn’t have to, for being just as messed up as I am, for appreciating my flaws, for having the same flaws, for not telling people when I cry (which I don’t), and for being my literal ride or die.  And finally, thank you for always calling me a dumbass with more love in your voice than I have for ice cream.

xoxo,

Hoe 3

 

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